#OSDD-2 killer

[ask-codeearasure]

STOP LEAVING THIS SHIT IN THE TAGS I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD DUDE

This is the kind of shit that wakes me up from the afternoon sluggishness, the mindset of "fuck everyone I'm not going to work today and everything is shit".

Jesus Christ I'm gonna get you one day. I will make myself an idiot sandwich when I do. I will make you understand the brainrot you curse me with, the dull sense of fascination I feel about these faggots, stages and headcanons and all.

It has become a great point of borderline-obsession for me to imagine Stage 1 and Stage 2's complicated dynamics with Color before they finally both understand he's got no ulterior motives. Then they turn against each other full-force because Stage 1 is a wuss with attachment issues.

I think it would be funny if Stage 2 is the Stage that starts trusting Color first, no apprehensive questions asked, and then Stage 1 starts having a fucking conniption over it, like they don't understand what the fuck #2 is doing or why so they automatically assume the worst when really #2 is just happy to finally have a guy that doesn't treat him like the odd one out or try to alienate him over premeditated assumptions.

#1 recognizing Color is safe and trustworthy is the equivalent to strangling themself to not fuck up the one good thing they have going for them while #2 would appear to just accept it, like a simple "okay" while he's constantly making calculations about the what-ifs anyway. They're both paranoid, but #2 picked up the habit of scheming so he always has a semblance of a plan if anything goes wrong while #1 constantly obsesses over the potential of everything going to shit, not so much how they'd react aside from breaking down, running away, and maybe finding a way to finally die.

Color gives #2 basic fucking respect then goes beyond that as they keep interacting and #2 finds he likes that a lot actually, only for #1 to try and sabotage their relationship through their paranoid bullshit.

And like, I'm not saying #1 has no reason to be this way, they do, it's all just popping up at the wrong time where these behaviors and habits aren't necessary anymore.

#2 is bound to get pissed at #1 openly at some point. He just wants to be around his pookie and chill, no bloodshed needed, and the constant hot-and-cold, yes-and-no, will they-won't they, push-and-pull attitude #1 resorts to makes him realize that maybe, just maybe, he's gonna have to invest in a notebook to start communicating with this bitch thoroughly. Cause his main man, his one trusted guy being pushed away is not doing them any favors and he wouldn't know what to do if Color had enough at some point and just left like #1 seems to want.

So they have this back-and-forth for several months while Stage 3 is the one actually chilling. It gives no fucks about the other two imbeciles, it's enjoying every minute it spends with Color, but may or may not scream when #1 or #2 try to switch in.

...imagine what a blend of #2 and #3 would act like. I think they'd be extremely clingy to Color, maybe hug him with their entire body and stay like that even as he's moving around doing his own thing, but retains the #2 behaviors of studying everything that piques their interest and not responding to much emotional stimuli, and all while they're heavily dissociating. Once separate, neither of them remember where they got that information but just accept it.

ANYWAYS I hate these fucking people, I should stick them in the pear wiggler and lock the door behind them.

#2 I believe, while he's trying to do better through his bond with Color, still has manipulative habits compulsively. He knows he has an issue with that but the problem is he doesn't recognize the hows and why's. But #1 does and reacts the completely wrong way in getting anyone to notice the signs. They are set in fucking over #2 when what #2 actually needs is a clear reference in how he can change these behaviors.

He really does value Color, all of them do, but he feels like at this point in time he's the only one actually being productive about it and that's gonna be another reason why he's so infuriated with #1.

He's trying to get better for his own sake, taking notes and observing Color's needs as well so he can stick by him more effectively. If only #1 stopped destroying those notes under the pretense #2 still thinks of Color as a jumbo-sized lab rat and not the most reliable ride-or-die in existence.

I am waiting for the time #2 finally snaps openly and Color receives a rant about #1 being a bitch while he's stuck in sleep paralysis. That would be one hell of a way to find out yo boy's got suppressed issues he's struggling to sort out himself.

-- Sarco

the way stage 1 handles the other stages and advises others to the same is just both hilarious and sad

“Yeah no don’t trust me when im like that. im sure being told that everything i do or attempt to express is just me manipulating and lying won’t have consequences”

“oh yeah just kill me when im like that. what? I tried to defend myself against being murdered and killed when I was like that? gee golly im just so insane and crazy and violence is all I know you simply must kill me”

“what? hiding this part of myself and trying to suppress and resist it and pretend it doesn’t exist has consequences in that it will only make itself more know the more I resist?..I need to hide all evidence of its existence even more! In fact you should kill me before i ever become like that!”

like is it any wonder you feel so threatened in other stages when you actively turn others against you and encourage them to dehumanize and demonize you, thinking you’re doing anyone any good

[ask-codeearasure]

I always seem to think the best while I'm at work or it's 3 in the fucking morning.

Killer but he wants a new name and the Stages but they want their own names too. Probably wouldn't happen but there's always a slim chance they'd explore the notion far into the future of love and safety and where they learn to cut themselves some slack.

They probably would still collectively go by Killer, but have a list of names and nicknames along with it, like K, Kay, Kat, Strawberry, Krill, something related to a comfort of his or just a name he happens to like or finds funny.

But each Stage separately might still subscribe to the numbers pattern of names, particularly Stage 2 because that's my favorite motherfucker right now. Maybe he just likes being called Two in many languages, Dos being his most favorite.

Stage 3 I don't think would care about the names thing, but surprisingly Stage 4 is receptive to words in morse code in which it can communicate nonverbally and while it doesn't assign itself a name preference, perhaps it ends every message with a particular pattern or signal. It could be a vague sign it likes the look of or maybe a tune or specific sound.

Stage 1 would be the most indecisive of if they even want a name change or just another name seeing as they carry the bulk of the guilt for their past and have to fight themself to stop looking for punishments, death, or isolation. But if I look through this with the angelkin!Killer lens, perhaps he'd like something with a theme related to that (can't think of specific examples) or maybe a gemstone like Onyx or Ruby (playing off of dragonkin!Color's attachment to shiny priceless things)

-- Sarco

[signanothername]

I don’t know if anyone else has asked this but what do you feel about the take with killer being a system? (Having DID or osdd etc)

I love it actually!

It’s always an absolute delight seeing art of Killer that’s system focused

But I think my favorite take is @/howlsofbloodhounds’ on him having osdd-2 specifically iirc

Killer is already extremely dissociative and with the amount of conditioning that he went through, developing ossd-2 is very likely

Needless to say, would absolutely love to see more art, headcanons and fics including Killer as a system :D

[wackyscreamswithraisin]

Indefinite Hiatus and Clearing the air BIG TW ON //PERSONAL

Before I say anything this is the fanfic summary: It’s/ it was revolving around Raisin and Malcom (and Hamilton) from the Smart Talk With Raisin short, somehow stealing a meta cartoon remote from the, inaccessible to them; Cartoon Network ‘toonworld’ (like when you see the characters crossover in CN bumpers). They’d watch Courage the Cowardly Dog on their tv in their room like a comfort, but with the remote they start meddling with the character’s awareness of meta for entertainment - and when Barbara accidentally fuses with a glitched artefact, she is unable to be reverted to normal and she breaks the constructs of her own minor characterdom to try and track them down. The fic idea has changed a lot over the years but that’s what it (currently) has changed to. It’s rather Pibby adjacent and would focus on a lot of what’s changed about cartoons between every half decade - yeah it’s very complicated and over the top lol.

I know y’all are sick of me making these long ass walls of texts instead of proper content and I’m really sorry I keep pulling this 💀. I was going to make a nicer pinned posts] of explanation but since this blog is in a confusing place at the moment I just decided to do it quick instead so I don’t put it off.

For those who don’t want to read the full thing: TLDR,

1. I have personal attachment to Fred that has probably affected my judgement

2. My thoughts on Fred as schizophrenic rep is certainly not universal and the partial embarrassment about writing content revolving around him continues to catch up with me

3. The related problems below are reason why I have been so adverse to seeing Fred as being a r-pist m—-ster or SA’er

And 4. I’m starting to accept that it’s not that deep if my fanfic never gets told. Even if it would make me happy, it’s not the end of my work or me if I don’t. Nevertheless I hope you all understand and I’m sorry for any disappointment.

On the personal issue: First, bc some might not know, I am mentally ill and have had a vague diagnosis of psychosis for years that was never fully decided and that I understand now and abridge as ‘schizopsec’, but follows all the traits of OSDD 1B, enough that I tend to use both terms. ‘Fred’ is one of my alters - he’s my main ISH (internal self helper), caretaker, and fictive (fictional introject), and he has been for around 10 years. This is not a joke. This is as cringe as it sounds, even worse in real life when he fronts of course, and is embarrassing for me to admit even when I attach this post to my main blog where I share schizospec upliftment posts. It’s a complicated and excruciating subject matter for many many reasons, and it’s important that I clarify this, even though it’s uncomfortable for me, since this naturally affects my ability of separating Fred the alter from Freaky Fred in my writing and art. This is part of why I have to keep scrutinising my writing drafts. I believe I can keep them separate, but this is part of the reason why I guess my attachment for him and making content to do with him is there at all.

My thoughts on Freaky Fred in episode : As a schizospec, putting the alter aside, schizophrenic representation means the world and the moon and the stars to me, even when it’s bad. I can’t tell if this is an agreeable opinion amongst other schizospec/ psychotic people, but even damaging and dangerous rep involving homicidality like the axe crazy maniacs have something of catharsis in their rises and falls that I can appreciate, depending. Sexually depraved and violent rep however, crosses a line; obviously schizo killers in fiction are heavily drenched in misinformed stigma and is mostly bullshit and can be dangerous- we are dramatically far more likely to hurt ourselves or be hurt - but I think most people would agree that sexual violence is a different evil altogether, and I cannot stand to see the marginalised mentally ill conflated with such horrendous shit.

There’s the problem. I think Fred is a schizophrenic; other than him getting the equivalent to straightjacketed at the end and taken to presumably some asylum or how he narrates/ talks/rhymes in his own head and otherwise barely talks just disjointedly - he’s got that classic 90s-00s cartoon crazy grin and is instilling fear in the viewer through said unbalancedness,his whole deal is very ‘of its time’ on displaying scary madness. And, all that being said, even though he’s clearly not good rep by any stretch of the imagination, he doesn’t harm anyone - he’s even ‘nice’ - or at least doesn’t seem to be blatantly malicious. The bar is on the floor, but that’s already better than idk William Afton or something.

Fred as a predator: The point of view of Fred as a metaphorical molester is pretty obvious and is a popular opinion, and it would be dishonest to say I don’t completely see it, especially with how he says naughty - the implication steers more into the sexual predator area. Hair shaving isn’t violent as much as taking something away - subtracting, and this can be interpreted in a murderous or SA fashion, but the murderous interpretation I stick with, one akin to Sweeney Todd, is a very flattering view of it and I know it. It’s easy to see how it comes off fetishistic which favours an SA view and is naturally the reason why a lot of people see it as rapey.

The episode as a metaphor for SA or CSA enabled in a household that turns the other way is popular, and at first I didn’t like this theory because it felt like a dark theory made almost to tarnish child content with a deeper or darker meaning, which I had seen a lot elsewhere. But this wasn’t really honest; ‘The Mask’ works well as an episode with no subtext but is respected moreso as an episode clearly about domestic abuse and misandry born from trauma. ‘Freaky Fred’ can also be this.

I think the well and honest truth for me is, even when I do everything I can to touch grass, and remove my personal connection to the character/ the idea of him through the alter, away from the conversation; I really don’t want Fred to be a schizophrenic and a sexual predator character at the same time, and I cannot remove my view of him as the first one, but I have to admit that, in some ways, both was intended for him and this episode in some variation. It’s pretty upsetting to think about; I know a majority audience isn’t going to be that invested in the representation of mad people, especially not in cartoon antagonists, but it matters a lot to me. Obviously it would still be bad if he wasn’t a crazy character and it would still be scary and awful if he acted more ‘normal’, but that craziness is there and the combination feels particularly wretched because, once again, schizophrenics are far more likely to be victimised.

What I’m trying to say with all this; Fred is a mad character who despite being the most offputting and scary character I’ve ever seen in my life, managed to become irremovable from my psyche for almost my whole life, for better and for worse, and in some small way, seeing him as so scary and uncomfortable, but equally ‘good-willed’ and harmless by technicality in that episode, made me feel a little less alone. But people who have been yucked out by this blog and this fixation as I said before are fully in their right, and I am taking a step back to consider if I want to continue with making stuff to do with Fred or not.

The fanfic?: I still think about the story a lot but as you can probably tell I’ve made it very convoluted by involving a meta narrative, and as I’m just about to head into university by the time I’m writing this, it’s difficult to tell what will come of this. I will let you all know, but it’s in a continuous grey area and I don’t want anyone to get their hopes up. I’m sorry.

Will I still post art?: Maybe haha, I never know how to feel when I post it. Sometimes I worry it gives off the impression that I ship post-shaving incident Barbred (I don’t) or that I endorse Fred’s ‘freakiness’ at all. And sometimes I think it just looks bad, as in not a good recreation of the ctcd art style, or too sad - like idk why I think the audience is just going to understand these alarmingly emotional pieces when I’ve been pretty scarce on context, I apologise for everyone’s who’s gotten tonal whiplash scrolling. Fred art may come up elsewhere on my other blog which I will reblog here if I think it’s appropriate.

If you read all the way thank you so much💚, I hope you get what I’m saying, and if you don’t I understand. Consider following my main zebedeezing if you want somewhere I post more often though non ctcd related.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Its pretty much implied that Killer has a dissociative disorder (even if unknowingly or unintentionally on rahafwabas’ part)—just never said what kind of dissociative disorder it is.

He likely wouldn’t be diagnosed with DID/OSDD1 in the real world because he was an adult when the extensive trauma happened and his identity fragmentation/disturbance was brought on by manipulation from external forces, but he also isn’t an actual person and is a fictional character—so people can of course hc him with whatever dissociative disorder they want. DID, any of the 4 subtypes of OSDD, DPDR, UDD, etc. but it’s pretty obvious he’s a dissociative character.

killer sans from something new/by Rahafwabas has DID (not sure if it's canon or not)

Killer Sans from Something New has Dissociative Identity Disorder!

DID is a commonly misinterpreted disorder that has gotten poor reputation due to the disorder being used by movie studios for shock factor, spreading misinformation about a complicated disorder that stems from severe childhood trauma. People with DID, like many other disabled individuals, often struggle financially due to how the country is set up for individuals on disability. Val is one of these people, a trauma victim with DID who needs help in funding their everyday life—things such as comfortable furniture for their nerve pain.

(Killer/Something New and art used by Rahafwabas)

(to my knowledge it’s not canon/intended by rahafwabas, though some people argue he’s coded that way)

[rissiuniverse]

originally wrote this as a reblog under someone else’s post but nah… i’ll be respectful and put my Killer song ramblings here.

listen to Zero One by The Living Tombstone (can be interpreted as a Chara & Killer song) (code, mechanics, finding new purpose), Chosen by The Living Tombstone (can be interpreted as a Killer & Nightmare song) (forces beyond your control, losing free will and identity, finding new purpose), and 1,000,000 AD by Qbomb (can be interpreted with Killer and his stages/alters, OSDD-2 especially) (“digital antichrist,” mechanics, omnicide) ❤️

deadass i need to make Killer animatics or AMV/PMVs with at least ONE of these 😭😭

[dissociationswagcompetition]

Welcome to Round 2 of the Dissociation Swag Competition!

The Dissociation Swag Competition is a for-fun Tumblr tournament where nominated characters are competing in a friendly competition to celebrate those of us of the dissociative spectrum, including but not limited to: Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder (DPDR), Dissociative Amnesia, Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD), Unspecified Dissociative Disorder (UDD), or simply anyone who experiences dissociation on a recurring basis!

As a note, this is not meant to romanticize mental illness, but rather push for more positive representation of our conditions. As someone with DPDR, I think it's important to be able to look up to characters who are like me and not just scary serial killers, and we deserve positive representation just as much as those with anxiety, depression, or other mental illnesses!

As a reminder, be kind during the competition, this is all for fun and has no stakes! Cheer on your blorbos, but don't be mean to the other competitors nor those rooting for them please!

Round 2 Matches

Round 2 will be split up into 2 groups, with the following matchups and dates their polls will go up:

Group A - Monday, February 20, 2023

Crona (Soul Eater) vs Darcy Wu (Amphibia)

Kris Dreemurr (Deltarune) vs Ferb Fletcher (Phineas and Ferb)

Maxim Kischine (Castlevania Harmony of Dissonance) vs Sunny/Omori (Omori)

Harrier Du Bois (Disco Elysium) vs Razputin "Raz" Aquato (Psychonauts)

Olivier Mira Armstrong (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood) vs Yellow Guy (Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared)

Laudna (Critical Role) vs Mae Borowski (Night in the Woods)

Raphael Hamato (Rise of the TMNT) vs Alfendi Layton (Layton Brothers: Mystery Room)

Sora (Kingdom Hearts) vs Cecil Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale)

Group B - Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Shallan Davar/Veil/Radiant (Stormlight Archive) vs Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles)

Shigeo "Mob" Kageyama (Mob Psycho 100) vs Mafuyu Asahina (Project Sekai)

Madotsuki (Yume Nikki) vs One-One (infinity Train)

Bruce Banner/The Hulk (Marvel) vs Nagisa Shiota (Assassination Classroom)

Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII) vs Homura Akemi (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

Blitzwing/Icy/Hothead/Random (Transformers Animated) vs Kayano Mikoto (MILGRAM) vs Mike/Chester/Svetlana/Vito/Manitoba/Mal (Total Drama)*

Sayo Yasuda (Umineko No Naku Koro Ni) vs Ingo (Pokemon)

Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog) vs Chara Dreemurr (Undertale)

*Blitzwing and Mikoto perfectly tied in Round 1, which is why they will both compete with Mike in a three-way poll in Round 2

[xsvndropx]

25+ writer (they/them) looking for 21+ discord roleplayers — willing to discuss trigger warnings. big believer in creating safe spaces. please read everything before reaching out. i am not interested in joining RPGs or public servers. OCs are welcome and encouraged. open to discuss crossovers. i'm a very friendly writer!

【 dm or like this post to interact 】

some rules i write by:

- literate roleplay; 1+ paragraph minimum in replies with no length limit; my replies are usually 2-4+ paragraphs in length; willing to match length of my writing partner.

- smut/lewd will be limited to age appropriate relationships; ask for my 'Will Not Do' fetish and kink list; general smut/lewd will be allowed after chemistry has been developed; smut/lewd is not a focal point of my plotting.

- no real life celebrity roleplays; i'm tolerant of real life fakes who are OCs but i'm not currently seeking any form of real life/fake life roleplay.

- i hold everyone to the same basic standards. these are not negotiable and i will delete you out of my online life if you act up: NO transphobia, NO real serial killers, NO homophobia, NO domestic abuse, NO sexual assault, NO pedophilia, NO beastiality (human x animal), NO racism, NO ableism, NO phobias of any kind alligned with oppressed religions, and NO offensive neo-pronouns (i meant it: slurs and culturally sensative words/dieties are NOT pronouns; I WILL NOT DISRESPECT WHOLE COMMUNITIES AND OPPRESSED RELIGIOUS BELIEFS OR NORMALIZE N*ZI TERMONOLOGY TO MAKE YOU FEEL 'COMFORTABLE').

- i will NOT write with ANY character using a deceased faceclaim; find an alternative character to write or recast your character pfp; i will not back down from this rule.

- we have OSDD/DiD; we keep this part of our life private due to littles and the safety of our system; do NOT ask to be introduced to our system; do NOT ask about triggers or traumas; do NOT ask to meet any of our littles; if we decide you need to know that side of our life then WE will approach YOU.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

FANDOM MASTERLIST:

【 masterlist of characters i write — open to romance, friendship, and enemy connections 】

MOVIES — HORROR

○ tara carpenter - scream

○ moira karp - some king of hate

○ velma - mystery inc

○ laurel - bit

○ carolyn - dark shadows

○ elvira - elvira

○ sara - the craft

○ bonnie - the craft

》 ships: laurel x izzy; velma x daphne; tara x amber; tara x mindy; sara x nancy; carolyn x wlw

MOVIES — FANTASY

○ nimona - nimona

○ deet - dark crystal

○ sara - labyrinth

○ sir didymous - labyrinth

○ jareth - labyrinth

○ toothless - how to train your dragon

》 ships: sir didymous x the bog of unbearable stench; jareth x hoggle

MOVIES — COMEDY

○ becca - pitch perfect

○ megan - but im a cheerleader

》 ships: becca x chloe; megan x graham

MOVIES — DISNEY

○ merida - brave

○ jane - decendants

○ mal bertha - decendants

》 ships: mal x evie; jane x evie; jane x wlw; merida x elsa

TV — HORROR

○ charlie - supernatural

○ lilith - supernatural/myth

○ zoey freemont - supernatural

○ castiel - supernatural

○ sam w - supernatural

○ max - stranger things

○ robin - stranger things

○ willow - buffy the vampire slayer

○ dawn - buffy the vampire slayer

○ buffy - buffy the vampire slayer

○ dru - buffy the vampire slayer

○ wednesday - the addams family

○ kenzi - lost girl

○ dagny - lost girl

○ evony - lost girl

○ sabrina m - chilling adventures of sabrina

○ dorcas - chilling adventures of sabrina

○ theo - chilling adventures of sabrina

○ madame satan - chilling adventures of sabrina

○ scarlett winslow - american horror stories

》 ships: charlie x the dnd faerie; cas x dean; robin x nancy; max x el; max x lucas; wednesday x enid; wednesday x lydia deetz; buffy x willow; willow x tara; buffy x faith; lauren x bo; kenzi x bo; evony x bo; evony x lauren; madame satan x zelda; theo x robin; scarlett x maya; scarlett x ruby

TV — SCIFI

○ jenny flint - doctor who

○ ashildr/me - doctor who

○ clara oswald - doctor who

○ river song - doctor who

○ clarke - the 100

》 ships: jenny x vastra; river x doctor; clara x wlw; clara x 11; clarke x lexa

TV — ANIMATED

○ catra - shera

○ amythest - steven universe

○ marceline - adventure time

》 ships: marceline x bubblegum; catra x adora

TV — FANTASY

○ morgana - merlin

○ merlin - merlin

○ ciri - witcher

○ yennefer - witcher

○ arya stark - game of thrones

○ daenerys - game of thrones

○ regina mills - once upon a time

○ ruby - once upon a time

○ merida - once upon a time

○ elliot - magicians

○ bloom - winx

○ terra - winx

○ musa - winx

》 ships: morgana x gwen; merlin x arthur; ruby x dorothy; ruby x snow; regina x emma; merida x mulan; merida x ruby; bloom x beatrice; bloom x stella; terra x musa; terra x kat

TV — DISNEY

○ olive - ant farm

○ creepy connie - jessie

○ lilly - hannah montanna

○ luz - owl house

○ alex - wizards of waverly place

○ stevie - wizards of waverly place

○ juliette - wizards of waverly place

○ maddie - liv and maddie

》 ships: lilly x hannah; luz x amity; alex x stevie; alex x harper; juliette x alex; juliette x harper; maddie x willow

TV — NICKELODEON

○ cat valentine - victorious

》 ships: cat x jade; cat x freddie; cat x sam

COMICS - DC

○ kara zorel - supergirl

○ posion ivy - harley quinn

○ nia nal - supergirl

○ alex danvers - supergirl

○ lena luthor - supergirl

》 ships: nia x brainy; kara x lena; ivy × harley; nia x kara; alex x kelly; alex x lena

COMICS — MARVEL

○ nebula - guardians of the galaxy

○ squirrel girl - squirrel girl

○ rocket raccoon - guardians of the galaxy

○ yelena - hawkeye

○ kitty pryde - xmen

○ mystique - xmen

○ kurt - xmen

○ toad - xmen

》 ships: yelena x kate; kitty x rouge

BOOKS — GREEK MYTH

○ thalia - percy jackson

○ annabeth - percy jackson

○ bianca di angelo - percy jackson

○ athena - percy jackson/myth

○ artemis - percy jackson/myth

》 ships: annabeth x percy; thalia x annabeth; bianca x wlw

GAMES — ASSASSIN'S CREED

○ ciara - valhalla

○ evior (fem) - valhalla

○ randvi - valhalla

○ tracer - overwatch

》 ships: evior x ciara; evior x randvi; evior x petra; eivor x kassandra; tracer x lena

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☆ ADDITIONAL INFO DUMP ☆

writer has AuDHD, OSDD1b, and a few processing disorders — all of this will affect our ability to be online from time to time; please allows us time to respond at our own pace, especially when our chronic illness or autism begins to act up.

[modgirlyreposts-revamped]

Yuta Kosuke is Masumi’s primary alter, though it’s safe to assume he probably has more headmates than just Yuta. However, when Masumi’s distress gets the best of him during the killing game following the unfortunate death of a dear f…riend, he starts experiencing bouts of dissociation, depersonalization and derealization, which aren’t focused on, but shortly after said death, Khenan Reed, the ultimate filmmaker, comments Masumi has been wandering around at night, talking to himself, and this raises suspicions around Masumi. However, upon being pressed about this it becomes apparent he has no memory of it. Over time, Masumi’s demeanor becomes unlike him far more often, and in chapter 5, it becomes apparent Masumi is literally a completely different person.

It’s implied that Yuta is a male introject (alter in a DID/OSDD system based on an outside source, like a real person or fictional character) of Yuri from Doki Doki Literature Club, but this is never explicitly stated because I feel like that might raise some sort of copyright issue?? Either way, it’s also not really relevant enough to the story to confirm anyway but I do intend to imply it with Yuta’s personality, being a quiet “tortured artist” type, similar sounding name (though Yuri means lily and Yuta means gentle) and his affinity for the color purple.

The most explicit reference to it though is that when they’re discussing the fifth death, despite that it’s pretty tame compared to some of the murder scenes, executions and the states of the bodies, Yuta becomes disturbed to the point of becoming physically ill when they begin discussing the manner of death being repeated stab wounds, so much so he starts gagging and coughing like he’s about to vomit.

While Masumi wasn’t unbothered by death, he saw little value to his own life, and could handle the trials fine as a result of that amount of desensitization. However, Yuta isn’t like Masumi, and while he can handle death, several specific manners of death cause him heavy amounts of stress, including suffocation, which is one of the big things that tips the survivors off to the fact that they’re… not talking to Masumi. Masumi had helped solve a strangulation case fine, and only became upset when he realized who the killer was.

Yuta doesn’t actually know he has DID, just that he isn’t Masumi, and in a less unbelievably ableist version of THH chapter 2’s turn of events in trial 5, Masumi and Yuta’s “strange” behaviors cause him to be a suspect as Yuta is unlike the boy they know. However, while Yuta promises he’ll accept any punishment they see fit for any dishonesty including torture, he hesitantly and worriedly refuses to speak of his symptoms at all, despite acknowledging silence as dishonesty. Alice once again being the one to save the trial with psychological prowess, realizes Yuta seems to be a different identity state, and the holes in Yuta’s alibi against allegations of being the killer or even the mastermind are filled in as it becomes clear Yuta has no malicious intent, but a wholly different person with his own personality and rituals that Khenan had happened to capture snippets of. The name Yuta comes from its similarity to Yuri, and Yuta ends up essentially becoming the new host of Masumi’s system. But because of the life Masumi had been crafting, Yuta finds himself suddenly being expected to be someone he absolutely isn’t, an actor instead of an observer, someone supposed to put himself into fire for others’ entertainment. He’s even met with shock when he begins outwardly complaining about pain in his hands and wrists, which Masumi had been dead silent about, and willingly taking anti-inflammatory drugs and wearing braces on his wrists and hands.

Turns out, Yuta and Masumi’s body’s immune system has more problems than Masumi ever let on. While his vitiligo was obvious, what never seemed to occur to anyone in the class and what he kept totally quiet about was the fact that he had another condition caused by his immune system attacking itself- early onset rheumatoid arthritis. Unlike Heiran (maybe I should talk abt her next if ur ok w it—) who has piebaldism, a skin condition that doesn’t pose any serious health risks, but creates heavy stress and self esteem issues for Heiran, Masumi’s condition is indicative of an underlying stress and health issue. Heiran’s condition is genetic and causes her vanity and self esteem issues, which is her biggest problem, but Masumi’s is from environmental stress. Masumi doesn’t hate himself, the world seems to hate him, but while the world seems to love Heiran, she hates herself.

While Yuta’s body’s arthritis was known by doctors, Masumi had never done anything about it and was willing to risk ruining his future to not feel like he was nothing in the face of his condition the way the world did- an extremely unhealthy outlook. Yuta knows how the world sees him and hates it, but doesn’t want to crumble and obsess over it and ruin his life. He feels both bad for Heiran and slightly judgmental as she allows herself to obsess over it with a desperation for everyone else to see her differently. Yuta in that sense is an opposite to Heiran, who was born at the top, but she hates herself because the beauty industry thrives off of making people hate themselves. Yuta came from the bottom, literally formed because his brain and body could not cope with any more stress, but he is fine with what he is, and he doesn’t want to chase anyone else’s love.

If it’s ok with you I might talk abt another character next too-

Yuta being an introject of Yuri is interesting, and I don't think you have to worry about copyright all that much like by just vaguing what his source is

[pastelbatfandoms]

40 question plural/system asks

What do you guys usually fight about, if anything? Relationships lol That's really our main difference. We can agree on or agree to disagree on most everything else.

2. What are everyone's fashion tastes? I've answered this in other surveys,which you can search for under the tags Surveys or OSDD. But I suppose I can do each of our main styles. Mine (Michelle) are Streetwear , Hippie and Fandom/Causal.

Mitchell's: Emo & Grunge

Mina: Y2k & Basic (Think Gossip Girl)

Rini's: Girly and Kawaii (she is a child)

Levathia's: Victorian Goth or Romantic Goth

Alistair: Gothic & Devil Core. Suits.

Elizabeth: Angel Core

Newt: All Black, Nu Goth maybe. She doesn't have a set style.

Lyria's: Witchy & Boho mixed with galaxy themes. (Was Hipster)

3. Who's the best at dealing with stress? Alistair without a doubt as he is one of our protectors and the most mature (besides Elizabeth) I would also say Lyria too since she is so spiritual and an Alien.

4. Who has the weirdest music taste? lol Mitch with his Screamo. JK I mean we all have varied tastes so I don't think any of our music taste is weird.

5. Do you see your system members as individual people, parts of a whole, or something else? Do other members see things differently? Some see themselves as individuals, I think other's of us see themselves as part of a system that work together to make a whole. (myself included)

6. Is there anything everyone can agree on or have in common? We agree on how to raise our kids (for the most part),who we're married to and our beliefs.

7. How long have you known you're part of a system? Has it taken other members a longer or shorter time to come around? They all knew long before I did lol. I have only known for a few months.

8. What was the discovery process like for you? It was a bit of a surprise. I even joked about having it to our husband once (mine and Lyria's) turns out we do lol

9. What do you feel your origins are, if you feel comfortable sharing? Like how did we get OSDD? um Childhood trauma starting at the age of 5. (Rape, Molestation, Domestic abuse within the household, parents divorced, Dad was an Alcoholic, My Grandma and Sister died when I was very young.)

10. If you could wake up tomorrow and have everyone be in separate bodies, would you? Probably not. That would be a lot, plus we'd have to move we barely have room for 5 people here let alone 8 more! I feel like their safer and more comfortable in the inner world anyway. Especially Rini, Elizabeth and Newt.

11. Do you have a favorite plural character or headcanon? Killer Frost aka Caitlin Snow from The Flash.

12. Does anyone like any video games? What about books or TV shows? omg yes. Been playing since we were children. I've always preferred fighting games, as well as Simulation games. As far as Books and TV? Man that's a whole other list...We've been reading since we were 4 and are big into TV shows....

Mitch likes pretty much anything, but his/their favorites are Nintendo games, WWE games and Super Hero/Anime games.

Levathia prefers D&D to Video games but she does like RPG's, Horror & Vampire The Masquerade.

Lyria likes Mobile games mostly.

Mina likes The Sims, Dress up games, and Anime. As long as it's sexy or cute.

Rini prefers card games like MLP or board games like candy land. But she does like cute anime and Disney games.

Alistair and Elizabeth prefer board games over video games.

Newt sometimes likes playing mobile card games.

13. Who's the most outdoorsy, if anyone? Who likes to stay inside the most, if anyone? I'd say Lyria and Mina. Liryia because she loves nature and Mina because she likes just going out.

I think the rest of us are more introverted though Elizabeth does like laying out when it's sunny and cloud gazing.

14. What is religion and spirituality like for your system, if applicable? We're all pretty spiritual, Elizabeth is the only one of us who is religious (She's Christian)

15. Who, if anyone, are you out to? Are they supportive? My Husband, My Niece (Who I found out has DID) and My Mom.

16. Do you see multiplicity as more of a spectrum that everyone's on, or something that only effects some people? Only effects those who have had severe childhood trauma and possibly ongoing.

17. Any nonhuman members? Yes. As I stated Liryia is an Alien (Plieadian) Elizabeth is an Angel, Alistair and Newt are Demons, Levathia is a Vampire and Mitch is part cat.

18. Do you have introjects? If so, where do they come from? One, My ex Valenn, who is with Levathia. Hopefully I don't have anymore introjects of ex's....

19. Do you consider yourself disordered? Do other members feel any differently about this?  Yes, but I really don't think about it. It's always been this way I've had depression, Anxiety, PTSD and Disassociation for as long as I can remember. So It's pretty much the norm now.

20. What are everyone's favorite hobbies? I already answered in another survey....

21. How do you resolve in-system conflicts? We don't usually have them that I know of, but we do have an area towards the front that sits a round poker table that we sit at and discuss anything we have concerns over.

22. Do you dissociate often? What is dissociation like for you, if applicable? Sometimes I can't tell if I am or if I'm just really tired. I tend to space out often though and used to have really bad dizzy spells or feel like everything is in slow motion (including voices) I usually have to sit with my eyes closed for a few minutes or longer to settle.

23. Do you wish you had more or less members, or are you happy with what you've got now? I'm good with what I have. Though I wouldn't reject any new comers lol

24. How active are your other members? Who's around in headspace the most? Who fronts the most? Who's dormant, if anyone? As the host I am the most active. But Mitch, Liryia and Levathia are around the most. I would say Newt is the most inactive but she's not dormant she just never comes out because she guards the front with Alistair. I don't think we have any that are dormant...

25. Do different members have different art or handwriting styles? Feel free to show examples! YES! I have a more loose, all over the place handwriting and I'm better at drawing designs for letters and free hand.

Levathia has a more old world cursive style and she draws very dark things. (bleeding eyes and such)

Mitch has what I call "chicken scratch" handwriting lol but it's still readable just very hurried. He along with Rini are good at drawing anime characters.

Lyria has messy "cursive" large with plenty of misspellings lol she is the best artist out of all of us. She mainly draws/paints landscapes and planets from her memories of her home worlds. As well as sigils.

Rini's handwriting is very childish since she is our little.

Elizabeth's handwriting is very neat and light. She doesn't draw but she's good at decorating.

Alistair's handwriting is bold and precise like him. He's only drawn a self portrait (or helped me) but he says he's good at using charcoal and chalks. Very abstract.

Mina's handwriting is flowery with lots of hearts dotting the i's. She mainly doodles things like hearts and stars.

26. Do you ever feel NOT multiple? Like a singlet, or somewhere in the middle of the spectrum? Do you ever forget you're part of a system? Yes, alot actually, I used to think I was making it up.

27. Do you guys have different tastes in food? What are everyone's favorite foods?

I like chicken, pasta, hamburgers, breakfast food and breads.

I do know Mitch likes his junk food, cereal and chocolate...

Rini likes cereal, mac n cheese, Chicken Nuggets , Ice cream, Chocolate milk and Elizabeth eats more healthy, besides the occasional cake. (Sorry we're allergic to dairy guys!)

Mina likes frozen yogurt, Mocha's and fruit.

Levathia said she likes some japanese food and english.

Alistair prefers rich foods and dark chocolate (Wow total opposite of me lol)

Liryia doesn't have a preference. But prefers home cooked.

28. Have you ever struggled with denial? Yep.

29. Does your typing style differ depending on who's fronting?  Sometimes. If Liryia's typing we get alot of misspellings lol and if Mina or Mitch is fronting we get alot of teen style typing (abbreviating every word...)

30. Do you have any amnesia? What's it like for you? I used to from childhood and as a teen. I get alot of my memories mixed up.

31. Do any system members have a different gender or sexuality? How do you guys handle this? Alistair is male, Newt is None Binary and Mitch goes by they/him. Everyone else is female.

We handle it just like normal, we're all pretty open minded.

32. How has your system changed over time? I don't know...Other then Alistair not just being a scary shadow or demon anymore. Levathia isn't as volatile either.

33. Who's the oldest member? Who's the youngest? I suppose Liryia though we have a lot of ageless members. Rini is the youngest.

34. Do you see your system more as family, more as friends, more as roommates, or anything else? Family and friends.

35. What would your perfect life or dream job look like? How does this differ between members? I really don't have one anymore. Maybe a tarot reader with a permanent house.

36. Name your favorite quality of all the members you can think of! Including yourself! ;) Alistair is answering- Hello, Michelle found it hard to think of what to say so here I am.

Firstly I would say My favorite quality's of hers would be her strength, how strong and mature she is given everything she has been through. She has grown so much these past few years (some of that we attribute to her life now and family) she is also creative, sensitive and a great listener.

Mina would like me to write on her next so I shall hm. Mina is spirited to say the least, she is fun and kind, very loving (sometimes a bit too trusting) she may wear her heart on her sleeve but it has led Michelle to were she is now so Minara is much needed. I also appreciate her more open sexual side that she is not afraid to express.

Elizabeth, ah how does a demon write about an Angel? We used to not get on very much but we have grown closer over time, as we've realized the roles we play balance each other out. Elizabeth is kind as well very humble (sometimes too) and is a great caretaker to Rini.

Speaking of, where do I begin? Rini is our little therefore she emerged when Michelle was around 5-7 years and went through her first trauma. She may hold some but not all. She is very strong, spirited, sweet and loving. She may be shy but she is also very funny, cute and a joy to be around. She is also very creative and smart as well. Rini created our inner world, so imagination she has indeed.

Now onto Mitchell or Mitch as they like to be called. Mitch is our little emotional one, they do hold alot of the trauma. But despite his quiet, moody exterior he is the one (besides Newt) that I relate to the most. They are misunderstood because of his demeanor but they are actually quite sweet and good. He cares for us all but especially Rini and Mina, he is also very fun and unique.

Levathia is the one that I was the closest to (aside from Newt) growing up in the headspace. We were persecuters together and she was every bit as protective as I when it came to our well being, though she went a bit overboard at times. Lev may have a temper but she has a soft spot for those she loves. She is also very worldy and mature.

Speaking of Worldly. Liyria is our newest member, well new to us, she is actually a starseed and along with Levathia is a part of Michelle's past lives. I may not know her well but what I do know of her I like. She is highly spiritual and is connected to the aliens and akashic records as I am the occult and demons. We relate well when it comes to this and I respect her knowledge and generosity to share with us.

Newt is my right hand. They are very mysterious and seem foreboding because they are mute. but Newt is actually very kind and protective. They take their role as guard very seriously, though I do wish they'd lighten up a bit.

That is all of us for now...I will have Michelle return.

37. What's the most awkward experience you can have that you attribute to plurality? Not remembering things that people will tell you did or said...

38. Is it easy for you guys to be co-conscious? Yes.

39. Are you blurry often? How do you deal with blurriness? A bit yeah. We just deal with it, sleep lol

40. Do you know a lot of details about your system members, or is it more hard for you to parse out? I don't know as much yet but I do get details through dreams.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

find it interesting that there’s a term for when something triggers a cult survivor or recently escaped captive back into their cult/captive pseudo identity, the term “floating” is used to describe this dissociation

[thevalleyoftriumph]

[ edit: end0s dont touch this post, thanks! please block me instead ^_^ ]

so! um. for those who Arent in the ava community group and thus havent seen these; 4 days ago i posted the first 4 images officially introducing a headcanon that ive had for 2 years. its a hc that is very very important and dear to me that i hold very close to my heart, as it is a MASSIVE projection of my own experiences with having a dissociative disorder and being a system.

huuuge huge ramble under the cut. ^_^

the headcanon, to put it at its most simple, is this; chosen is a system of 3, having himself and two others, killer and beast, of whom are sort of seen here via a visual design of their internal appearance/how they see themselves. thats about it.

theres more to it, obviously, and thats the shortest way i can explain it, but trust me when i say it is much much MUCH more complex than i make it out to be. a LOT of projection goes into this, so a lot of how i write chosen and his system are based pretty explicitly off my experiences with the disorder. thus, its actually a ... very detailed headcanon.

i have a LOT of thoughts about this headcanon as again ive had it for years now. you can actually kinda see little inklings of it in my ooold old art of these three! a lot of my thoughts have been posted in the community too, either in the replies of my posts or under a cut, so if anyone is curious and wants it to be rebloggable, feel free to shoot me an ask requesting i put it on here :] and if anyones curious about details to my headcanon, feel free to ask me about it!!! genuinely i adore talking about this one, it means the world to me and i love seeing people enjoy it!

i also just want to say, ever since i posted the original mini-comic, ive been seeing a LOT more system headcanons in the ava community here, and genuinely it makes me SO happy. i was very very nervous sharing the headcanon initially, since its something very special to me that means a great deal to me, and i didnt know how itd be recieved. i did in fact expect to get rocks chucked at me lol. but, seeing how much people ended up adoring it, and seeing others start to form their own headcanons, makes me feel a lot better about it! im so excited i get to share this with you all, putting this hc out public is like bearing a part of my soul in a way. nerve-wracking, but ultimately relieving. its really nice. so, thank you ava tumblr for being awesome ^_^

obligatory "im a system and im sick of seeing this in media" disclaimer however; if i see ANY of you pull the "evil alter" stereotype in your headcanons [or if you interprite my beast as one], i am legally allowed to hit you with a chair. if you genuinely dont understand what that means or why its harmful, you are okay to ask me questions! just please please please remember to do your research if youre gonna be making a did/osdd headcanon, especially if youre a singlet!! i LOVE seeing hcs, but theres a TON of misinfo online about these disorders. dont just use tumblr as your sources! use actual medical and scientific writings! obviously looking to see the personal experiences of systems is great, but pleasepleaseplease get your primary research from somewhere other than tumblr and tiktok. ok thats all obligatory disclaimer over lol

[transpanda-1]

🍓Hi, we've been meaning to respond to this post for awhile, and we apologize for the lateness on the thought. But speaking as an OSDD 1B system: Uendo is pretty typically seen as one of the better, if not THE best, depiction of DID in a mostly widespread series. (Especially for 2016)

Again we have OSDD (like DID but no memory loss) so we're not one to one with Uendo & co., but we can tell you a number of aspects that are quite refreshing to see.

Many systems in media only have 2 alters despite irl systems usually having more, Uendo shows a more accurate depiction with 4 alters. They also include elements of alters having different ages, gender identities (Kisegawa being AA's first canon trans woman essentially is a bonus), and being fictives (alters that form through the base of a fictional character. Patches (Ippachi), Kisegawa, and Owen (Isoda) are all named and act after real rakugo characters).

One element we deeply appreciate to this day, because it almost cracked our plural egg, is that it also acknowledges not all alters need hard memory barriers. Most depictions of DID assume every single alter cannot remember what the other did. And while that certainly DOES happen sometimes, most tend to share memories like Uendo, Kisegawa, and Patches. DID is diagnosable when ANY memory barrier occurs, I.E. Owen's situation.

We'd say the only real hard "yeah that shouldn't be there" with Uendo is using the term "personalities" to describe the alters. That's an outdated term and implies them not to be people. Luckily, the game pretty cleanly takes the time to set up and communicate that each alter is their own individual, so even if the terminology is a bit off they have the right spirit about it.

So other characters talking ableistly to them is interesting because it overlaps with one of their greatest strengths: brutally mocking the murder alter trope. It's a genuine problem that in many series involving murder/horror/etc. that any plurality tends to involve a hidden alter who's only personality trait is wearing a t-shirt that says "I ❤ killing".

Are the characters of Storyteller acting/talking ableistly to them? ...Sort of, yes. Because if you really think about it, Owen exists SOLELY to subvert the murder trope. Owen is the total opposite of an intimidating murderer: a terrified shy 5 year old.

So it's a weird situation where, yes, Athena is acting a little bit shitty with how she's approaching and assuming that their 4th alter might be the killer (and outing them in court, obv). But the setup is there specifically to slam dunk Athena's (and by extension the player's) assumptions into the trash. So they kind of... NEED to be a little shitty for the subversion to work? It's odd.

Finally, one last aspect about Uendo that makes them stand high above other systems: They have an actual theme.

Most systems themes in media are like "They have DID...! Woo...!" But Uendo BREATHES rakugo. Every alter is a fictive of a rakugo character, their character design and animation are KILLER and beautifully convey both their profession and who's fronting, they co-fronting style is based on rakugo performance, etc.

Uendo feels like a system meant to stand out amongst systems, instead of being unique just because they're plural. And it's not really a surprise when you take into account how many characters in Ace Attorney can be interpreted as plural. Perhaps Uendo is so positive because they have quite the plural history backing them up.

(For example, think of how Maya and Mia are designed to be two characters in one body, and just from the first game! That influenced a lot of characters down the line, Uendo included. Uendo is actually a Maya parallel in AA6, from how every chapter relates to or parallels Maya's spirit channeling. Uendo might be the closest parallel though, they're even the same age as Maya!)

So, is Uendo good DID rep? How's "so good they inadvertently make Ace Attorney more obviously plural in hindsight" rep for you!

Ace attorney fans, people with DID, and ace attorney fans with DID, do you think that Uendo Toneido (/Patches/Kisegawa/Owen) is good DID rep? Why or why not? (And do the other characters around Uendo and co. come off as ableist to you when talking about/to them?)

I stg I sound like an 8th grade English assessment question but I’m just curious what y’all think (since I don’t have DID I don’t think I can make an accurate judgement) (and I may or may not be considering writing fanfic about them)

(I am not always aware if something I’m saying comes off as harmful so if anything stated or asked in this post seems ableist please tell me!! And per usual, if this post is not welcome in anything it is tagged as, inform me of such! I will not get upset!)

[dissociationswagcompetition]

Welcome to the Dissociation Swag Tournament Finals!!!

The Dissociation Swag Competition is a for-fun Tumblr tournament where nominated characters are competing in a friendly competition to celebrate those of us of the dissociative spectrum, including but not limited to: Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder (DPDR), Dissociative Amnesia, Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD), Unspecified Dissociative Disorder (UDD), or simply anyone who experiences dissociation on a recurring basis!

As a note, this is not meant to romanticize mental illness, but rather push for more positive representation of our conditions. As someone with DPDR, I think it's important to be able to look up to characters who are like me and not just scary serial killers, and we deserve positive representation just as much as those with anxiety, depression, or other mental illnesses!

As a reminder, be kind during the competition, this is all for fun and has no stakes! Cheer on your blorbos, but don't be mean to the other competitors nor those rooting for them please!

The Final Match

It all comes down to this... 64 Contenders entered the ring, 2 remain, and now one will emerge victorious

Our final matchup of Mae Borowski vs Shallan Davar/Veil/Radiant will go down on Friday, March 3, 2023!

Stay tuned :3c

[dreambound-ring-2]

as another killer fictive... yeah.

i think it's probably closer to BPD or OSDD-1 or 2 than DID, anyway? but yeah, source is definitely poor median sys rep.

We were looking through the fictional syscourse and our Killer Sans fictive just yelled that his source counts as a median system, probably. And despite said source being bad plural rep and bad queer rep, they're absolutely right.

Not aware of Killer Sans... Let me just... there we go!

Oh! Yup!

On both counts! (Them being a system, and being bad plural rep.)

Also, what is with the phrasing of this article?

First, someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder has "multiple personality disorders." They obviously mean Multiple Personality Disorder. Subtle difference but incredibly important.

But why say he has MPD and then in parentheses say it's now called DID. It was DID when Undertale was released too, wasn't it? So why not just call it DID instead of MPD. (Or better yet, don't call it either one.)

I am so very confused by all of this.

[candidateofloyalty]

Trial 2 of THH is pretty irredeemable but if you’ve ever wished you could at least play it without having to use a wildly ableist term, you’re in luck. This is a two second mod to 1) make Togami use the term “system” when first introducing the concept of DID and then 2) have you fill in the term “system” in the minigame. This doesn’t do anything to improve the fact that it’s still a case of depicting people with DID/OSDD as serial killers for no reason, but if it makes the game slightly more playable, more power to you.

The mod can be downloaded as an xdelta patch here. Once downloaded, you apply it to dr1_data_us.wad wherever the game is installed and then hopefully don’t have to think about it again.